"How To Walk in New York" -- a pedestrian's streetwise guide to negotiating Gotham on foot (which is really the only way), from jaywalking to umbrella etiquette. These tips apply pretty well to Boston, though we have a far more friendly subway system and far crazier drivers on the roads. For Hub visitors, I would add:

* Jaywalking with confidence: in Mass., it's not only NOT against the law to jaywalk, if you are "jaywalking" in a crosswalk you are actually protected by state law, and the cars MUST stop for you, so go crazy. In NYC, my rule is to look any driver approaching straight in the eye, unless it's a taxi driver, which is too threatening to them. In Boston, don't look anybody in the eye -- the more you look like you're assuming the drivers will stop, the less likely they are to hit you. For examples of this, visit the corner of Mass Ave and Church Street in Harvard Square, where a constant tide of pedestrians flows through the oncoming traffic with impunity, 24-7.

* Escape from Dunkin Donuts: every Masshole's favorite morning stop, DD requires some finesse in order for you, your beverage/sugary treat, and your car to escape unscathed. First, park either on the street or as far from the front door as possible in the lot -- DD lots are notoriously poorly designed, and they are filled with elderly drivers, little kids, rampaging teenagers, and lots of commercial pickup trucks. Second, know what you want BEFORE you step up to the counter, even if that means looking at the menu through the window from outside the building. You will feel the wrath of the caffeine-deprived hordes at your back if your order sounds like this: "Ummmmm, let me seeeeeeee....how about....uhhhhhhh....do you have any more lowfat blueberry?" Third, once you have paid, dump your change directly into the tip cup and flee the counter, or risk the bum's rush. A special note on drive-thrus: do not order more than $5 worth of food/coffee or you will be on the evening news as the victim of "donut rage." If you have a large order, go to Krispy Kreme, they specialize in "slow."

* Negotiating rotaries, lane drops, and highway on/off ramps: remember the old adage, "She who hesitates is lost." When in doubt, GO! Not only is Boston driving far less hair-raising at higher speeds (if only because the terror recedes more quickly), it is a Darwinian universe out there and taking advantage is everything. If you can get out of the way of trouble at the expense of a measly traffic law, the better for you and your ride. The key is: SIGNALING. If you signal, and steer with authority, you can do pretty much anything you want -- pass on the right, cut across three lanes, turn right from the left lane at a stoplight, whatever.

* Etiquette at outdoor events: Boston loves a free outdoor concert/movie/Shakespeare play in the summer months, and loves to get there twelve hours in advance to stake out the best patch of grass. To maximize your enjoyment, remember to bring a large blanket or sheet to sit on, even if you also have lawn or camp chairs -- by the time the show starts, latecomers will be trolling between the blankets, hoping to scam a few inches of grass to perch on. By the same token, other people's blankets are sacrosanct -- they cannot be moved, annexed or adjusted, unless they're on fire. Be considerate of the sightlines and don't set up chairs (or an umbrella!) in front of others on blankets. As for food and drink, feel free to share with your neighbors -- especially if you forgot your corkscrew -- but do everyone a favor and leave the ripe cheese and sardine salad at home. Ditto small children and untrained pets...or is that redundant?