"Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight." -- Salon's Ask the Pilot column today has a collection of the All-Time Most Memorable Airline PA announcements. I wish I'd sent in mine: on my flight from LAX to Sydney last spring, during the height of the SARS scare, the flight steward made this announcement during the customs spiel: "If you are experiencing any of the symptoms of possible SARS exposure, such as headache, fever, or difficulty breathing, please raise your hand and someone will come to assist you." Now, this was after nearly 15 hours in the air, and the whole point was that the SARS symptoms could have come on since we took off. But, hello! NOBODY is going to raise their hand, or the whole cabin would panic! After a moment of silence and a few awkward giggles, the steward said, "Alright then, thank you!" The guy behind me muttered drily, "Well, I feel totally safe now," and we all cracked up.