"Jason Varitek said he has never worn five-toed socks and sees no reason to try them now." -- Fair enough, Quadzilla! Behold the Five-Toed Red Sox of 2007.

"I celebrate the man's entire catalog." -- I think $35 is a bit steep, but who doesn't want a little recognition at work? Note that this is currently out of stock at ThinkGeek...hmmmmm.

Bollywood "Thriller" Video. -- What more needs to be said?

"Thanks for the superfluous visual aid, random cowboy dipshit!" -- Watch out for corporate website stock photography, you might learn something.

Defenestrate it? Dip it in a koi pond? Smash it with a hammer? -- What's the best way to totally destroy data on a hard drive? Watch and see. Thank goodness for the BBC.

"America finds itself married to a guy who has turned out to be a complete dud." -- That's President Dud to you, bub. Gary Kamiya muses on why Americans can't seem to divorce W. even though he's a disaster. His theory? The Dem-controlled Congress won't move to impeach because the quickly sinking Bush-Titanic is taking the whole GOP down with it, so why throw him an anchor? Um...lots of reasons?

Also, in case you're wondering what I mean by "disaster," check out Slate's handy Illustrated Guide to Republican Scandals and follow along!

Is 2007 the new 1974? -- What in the hell does that mean, anyway? Boston.com threw me for a real loop with this fluff piece, pointing out that it's been a third of a century since 1974. Um, I was born in 1974, so like, that can't be right.

"Too much boob exposed? WTF! I see more boob that that on the red carpet." -- Right on! Check out the commotion at Celebrity Baby Blog -- they posted a paparazzi pic of Maggie Gyllenhaal breastfeeding her daugher on a park bench, while she was out for a stroll and dinner with friends and their baby. Let the naysayers and breast-barers have at it! I think it's way cool -- I would much rather see this than Britney Spears dropping her kid on his head, let alone all the TMI decolletage on Law & Order.

Sweet Fancy Moses! -- My prayers have been answered, people. Not only did I find a fried avocado recipe, I already have all the ingredients at home right now. Mmmmm, friedocado. It has definitely been a friedocado week around here...

"Women are invisible in this decision as they are invisible in the writings of recent -- and not so recent -- popes." -- Former president of Catholics for a Free Choice Frances Kissling excoriates the all-Catholic Supreme Court majority that decided the recent Gonzales v. Carhart (aka "partial birth" abortion) case. This is the first time in history there are 5 Catholics on the court, and Kissling makes the explicit claim that their religious orthodoxy is what swung the court over to this regressive, misogynistic, anti-choice opinion. God, please save us from your old school, non-evangelical followers too.

"If I were a slug, I'd just chuck meself into the salt pot." -- Want to experience the wonder that is Karl Pilkington? Behold Pilkipedia!

What's red and green and rides through the South? -- The Lone Kool-Aid Pickle! If it's in the NYT Dining Section, it must be a trend, so hop to it, pickle/candy lovers. Here's Miss Issippi's recipe: "Dump out half of the brine in the pickle jar and refill it with your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid (preferably Jamaica, because it makes them nice and red). Wait a few days. Enjoy. I did." I am more of a half-sour girl, maybe that would pair well with Arctic Green Apple flavor? Mmmm...

As the summer blockbuster season revs up, it's time for a Big Movie/Little Movie Ticket Stub:

* Year of the Dog -- A perfect small movie: well-drawn characters, straightforward premise, and a thoughtful afterglow. Writer-director Mike White is, as far as I'm concerned, the man to save American independent cinema from its post-Grindhouse hangover, the culmination of a decade of indulgence and exploitation by the major studios. He's as incisive as Stephen Soderbergh, but takes himself much less seriously than his characters, so his stories fly on their own, undimmed by the shadow of his ego (do I even need to explain how this cripples every Tarantino flick?). Anyway, YOTD is a simple tale of grief and growth in the life of single gal Peggy, a tentatively perfect Molly Shannon. She works as a secretary for, lends a friendly ear to, and is the long-suffering auntie to, a bunch of average selfish jerks. Only her beagle Pencil loves her unconditionally, and then, well, he dies. Peggy is devastated, but nobody really cares -- except maybe Newt, the asexual ASPCA guy (Peter Sarsgaard) who reaches out and turns her on to veganism and animal rights. Peggy's path veers through all the stages of grief, including larceny and vandalism (of her snooty sister-in-law's fur collection!), before her life changes for the better. Extra points for a vibrant supporting cast (Regina King, Laura Dern, John C. Reilly), down to the dogs. (A)

* Spiderman 3 -- A pretty good big movie: our friendly neighborhood Spiderman & friends return, with one too many villains in the mix, but flawless fx and some nice goofy Sam Raimi touches. The reviews are mixed overall, but I'm not sure why -- it's a frickin' Spiderman movie, what is the big deal? It made X-Men 3 look like a SciFi Channel in-house creature feature, and that's enough for me. Tobey Maguire gets to walk on the wild side a bit here, after a meteorite filled with goo turns Spidey into an emo jackass with long dark bangs, alienating the affections of the lovely Mary Jane. Dunst is once again a hundred times better than the movie deserves, though pitifully underutilized in the awesome fight sequences. James Franco acquits himself well after a bump on the head erases Harry's misguided hatred for his best friend, which of course sentences him to a heroic martyr's demise. And the villains just keep on coming, which is entertaining enough. The be-goo'ed Spidey winds up giving into the dark side just enough to make it interesting. Moreover, I love how these movies are so NYC-centric -- the cops all look like real cops, just like on Law & Order; Peter's apartment remains realistically sub-standard; and Mary Jane seems to actually live and work somewhere in the grubby wilds of Ninth Avenue. I like this New York story better than the gadgetry and inner turmoil...who wouldn't? Oh, fanboys. Major points off for the unresolved smack-up of MJ, and that ludicrous Particulator Vortex underground command center somewhere in the marshes of...Queens? (B+)

"He swore off beer, had to put the pricey organic bananas back on the supermarket shelf and squeezed four meals out of a single chicken, all in the name of reducing hunger. And this is not even an election year." -- The governor of Oregon spent a week on a "food stamp diet," spending only $21 per person on all meals, which is the average for OR stamp recipients. Unsurprisingly, it was a bit meager.

On a related note, this weekend is the Walk For Hunger in Boston, folks -- donate today so Nat and Amy can go out on the road and raise a ton of dough!