"Of course you are not required to love everything about the United States, and certainly not those grossly overweight Americans on the Las Vegas buffet lines." -- This is totally awesome...OK, it is if you find highflown debate among the preening intelligentsia occasionally hilarious, like me. Here we have conservative powerhouse Francis Fukuyama carping on the infamously Gallic Berard-Henri Levy for not finding Las Vegas "sinful" enough, basically. BHL retorts by calling FF a Hegelian, ohhhh snap!

In an effort to both catch up and share some hard-earned health advice, allow me to post some tips on the various maladies that have befallen yours truly in the past 7 days -- fun! If you get the stomach flu, I recommend Mott's Natural Style 100% apple juice. When you eat nothing but this, Eggo waffles and Stonyfield plain yogurt for 3 straight days, interesting things start to happen! Midway through your gastric journey, watch out for crippling headaches caused by caffeine withdrawal -- ouch, those daily cups of tea and precious Diet Coke will be missed. Once the bottom system returns to normal, watch out for infection in the ears, nose, and throat. If you lose your voice, try soothing tea with honey, ice cream, and good old Nyquil to end the torment and get to sleep. Just look on the bright side -- it could be worse, right?

Oscars Weekend Ticket Stub Recap -- Well, it's been a crazy few days in the land of the movie fan...but before I get to the big finale, allow me to back up through all the fun had by my household leading up to it...

* On Friday, I spotted a car with two bumper stickers that seemed to prophesize a liberal Hollywood, blue state Best Picture win for everybody's favorite cowboy love story: "Wackos For Peace" and "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy!" Yeeeeeeeeeha!

* Saturday afternoon, Nat and I drove up to Salem for an entirely witch-free evening at the Hawthorne Hotel. We checked out the teapots, penguin, and model Taj Mahal made of plastic wrap at the trendy Peabody Essex Museum, and then enjoyed a delicious dinner at the hotel restaurant named....Nathaniel's, where Nat did not get to eat for free but did enjoy the towering portrait of his namesake on the wall over the piano player. Coincidentally, there were two weddings going on in the hotel, one of which took place not 10 feet from our table. I thought the guests were assembling for the reception, but then the bride and her dad were standing next to us, waiting to be cued to go through the door! It was small and relatively informal, obviously, but still exciting, and we toasted the couple as they scooted out to take photos a few minutes later. Mazel tov! We watched 'The Italian Job' on cable and then had an overpriced room service breakfast before heading home.

* Our annual Oscars party was replete with costumed fun, including a whole slew of cowboys and cowgirls:

Yippee-ki-yi-yaaaaaayyyyyyy....Anyway, we were all vaguely disappointed that Jon Stewart wasn't his usual rascally self as Oscars host -- he seemed way too intimidated and deferential, although still dryly sarcastic, and the skits were hilarious. He seemed to warm up as the night went along, so maybe there's hope for another try next year. I couldn't believe how quickly the show went along, and by the time 'Crash' scooped up that final statue and Paul Haggis' wife exposed her breast to the camera while hugging him (and why no firestorm of 'wardrobe malfunction' proportions this time -- aired after 11pm? accidental? non-black?) we were like, "Uh, wait, it's over already?" I'll rent 'Crash' to check out the fuss, but I have a feeling it's going to be just like what I imagined when I decided not to see it over the summer, an overbudget after-school special. But I don't think 'Brokeback's loss had much to do with hidden Hollywood homophobia -- hey, for all we know it lost by only a vote or two. Hollywood loves navel-gazing way more than high-minded social commentary, and 'Crash' is an L.A. story. Just like when 'Shakespeare in Love' won over 'Saving Private Ryan,' the industry insider vote wins every time. Ah well, it's always more fun to grouse about being robbed anyway...Until 2007, see you at the movies...

Soak it up folks -- according to Blogger, this is the 2,000th post to The Angus Index...the mind boggles! It's been a long, intermittent road, hasn't it? In honor of this milestone, I shall post one of my favorite types of links, that's right, a LEGO link. In this case...brace yourself...scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail...rendered in LEGO. Check out the Knight of Ni! Here's to 2,000 more procrastinatory pleasures...

For some reason, today has been a day of weird, slightly gross Sightings:

* On 95 North at the Rt. 3 interchange, I passed a dually truck pulling a very large, long mesh trailer behind it, the kind that landscapers use to pull their equipment on. This one had been loaded up with something, maybe mulch, and covered with a big black tarp. Emblazoned across the tailgate: MAXI DUMP. Ugh!

* As I'm sipping my Prince of Wales tea at my desk, I turn around to look outside and check the progress of the predicted snowfall -- I am like the weathergirl in my office for the cubedwellers on the "dark side" of the wall, ha ha. What immediately trundles slowly into my view? A big red tanker truck with SANITARY PUMPING on the side in scrolly yellow letters. Mmmm!

* Our office recently installed a second microwave in the cubicle area, after months of grousing. This is pathetic because downstairs in our fully stocked cafeteria there are 3 more, but some people just can't break away for long enough to go down there, or have such social phobia that they would rather starve than stand around the caf twiddling their thumbs for a few minutes while their Lean Cuisine heats up. Whatever. This new micro is on a table between our two lovely new fridges, next to the vending machines and the restrooms. So it is a high traffic area, whereas the old micro is in a tucked-away vestibule near a large conference room. For some reason, the machine has been set in Spanish mode, so the keypad reads "100% Potencia" while it is running, and at the end a little pixillated chef, in whites and toque, appears above the word "DISFRUTE!" Okay, will do.