Somehow "The Death Topiary" just doesn't sound very sinister... Enjoy today's ? du Jour.

M u l t i -Ticket Stub -- In the interest of saving space, and, heck, for my own Friday amusement, I'm going to deliver comments on my last several ticketed experiences using the Haiku Review format.

* Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith:

Good battles, but the
Dialogue and climax? Weak.
And yet, I'd watch more.

* Southwest Airlines:

No wonder it's so
Cheap: no assigned seats! WTF?
Still, it beats driving.

* Take Me Out at SpeakEasy Stage Co.:

Bull Durham crossed with
Kiss of the Spider Woman.
But it works. Really!

For you locals, here's the latest bulletin for the "Only In Somerville" file -- during the city's Memorial Day parade, the staff of upstart online rag The Somerville News played a sly joke on city politicos. Earlier in May, a city employee named Frankie Santangelo was reprimanded for illegally using city property to store his boat. The News parade float was a boat, the Miss Somerville, outfitted with a sign: "This is not Frankie's boat." Har har. Until Mayor Joe "No Snow" Curtatone got wind of it, and sent a motorcycle cop to make them take it down. Talk about prior restraint of the press!

Three simple words for you fans of tasty Mexican snacks and the Red Sox -- David Ortiz Salsa.

"A Day At The Brain Spa" -- Would you give your kid a drug that helped her learn to play the piano? The (dystopian?) future of neuropharmacology is already here, folks.